{Written By Bethany}
One time in our Bible study our teacher handed around a bunch of paper slips. She told us to write down things that we weren't content with, things that brought us down and burdened us. She was specifically talking about imperfections we struggle with in our appearance, things we wish could be changed, such as our hair type, weight, body, etc. However I realize this also applies to struggles we may have, difficulties or mistakes we make. Really anything that weighs us down and shields our eyes from delighting in the Lord's presence. Anything that blinds us from the joy that we should have in the Lord when we are lifting everything to Him. They joy of a burden-free lifestyle She told us to write these things down. I thought a bit before carefully writing mine down on that white piece of paper. Then when everyone was finished we folded the papers and taped them to the ribbon on a helium balloon. Then we said a prayer, giving our struggles and worries to the Lord, thanking Him for how He made us, and we then released that balloon to heaven. As the balloon slowly drifted out of sight I felt relief wash over my like a tidal wave. I felt like I could breath again. My burdens were gone, I no longer had to carry them.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
There are some days when I mess up. Big time. Some times have a higher level of severity than others, but no matter what the level may be, it happens often. More times than I'd like or care for. Sometimes I wonder how I let it happen, how I could have been so crazy. What I was thinking, why I didn't know better or think it through first? I wonder if I'll ever be the same because of these mess-ups, and truly I won't-and that's okay- because I learn from my mistakes. Whenever I have a "uh-oh" moment were I screw up, I often take it personally and I take it hard. I guess that is just the way God made me, but sometimes it's so straining to be so emotional. {Welcome to the life of a girl! :)}
Lately I've been having lots of mess-up kind of days. Days were I mess up, were things don't go as planed, days were everything seems to come tumbling down. I wonder if I'm the only one? I wonder if everyone is really like me, constantly forgetting things, or constantly having times were your brain blanks out on something you should have know. All I see of other's life through blogs and conversations is a flawless life, one without struggles, so I feel as if I'm alone since I only see my friends "good side" of their life versus the bad that always seems to show up in mine. When I have a big mess up I usually take it personally and give myself a hard time about it. I've realized from the mistakes that I've made in the past that often without even realizing it, I expect to be perfect, it's just something that is in me, so when I do mess up I feel bad because I've realized I've failed and am not perfect. It sounds silly, I know, I mean everyone realizes they aren't perfect at one point in life or another, but this is one of those times it totally sneaks up on me, I don't expect it. This makes me realize that maybe God has a purpose for my mess-ups and has a plan for my mistakes. He can see past the near-car-wreck {oh the delights of being a new driver, behind the wheel} and beyond the rashly uttered sentence that I come to regret later, over the shame of just now starting algebra instead of starting back when I "should have" according to the world, He can see past it all. I seem to focus and zone into the bad side of things, but He see's to the important, eternal side that is full of learning experiences and lessons on having a fuller, better life in Him. He let's me walk through these to make me stronger, to bring me to the realization that I desperately need HIM-because I do!
There are times when I make a mistake and I get so depressed at my stupidity. I can't forgive myself for that mistake or let my mind go on after I've messed up. I keep degrading myself over what happened yesterday, unwilling to let go and look up to Him for peace. It makes it hard to go on with life since in the back of my mind I'm always I'm worrying over the mistake I made yesterday, unwilling to let it go. It's like a helium balloon, when you just can't let go of the string. You hold on to it with all your might so it won't float up towards to sky, never to be seen again. You fear letting it go. But we must...we must let it go. We must give our mistakes to the Lord. Sometimes you just have to forgive and forget. Forgive yourself for what God's already forgiven you of, and forget just like He does. {Psalms 103:12} I have to learn from the mistake, but then forget it and go on with my life. It's hard to do. Sometimes when we mess up we feel like we could never go back to who we once were. We can't ever go back to life as usual because our mistake impacted us that much. It happens but you know what? God is merciful, He is just yet forgiving and loves us more than we could ever know. {Jeremiah 31:3}
Dear sister, have you also been struggling as I have? Do you also have a hard time letting go? Forgiving and forgetting? We must realize that we are humans. And thus we fail. Every day. Every hour. End of the story. But we must also realize, and grasp on to the fact that we also have a loving, forgiving God. {Thank you LORD!} One that is willing to let you lean on Him, whose mercy never runs dry. Let go of your balloons of grief, fear, resentment, anger, frustration, mistakes..and let Him deal with them-He wants you to release them to Him so you can use that energy to instead delight in Him. These things bring us closer to him than anything else because it's only in our desperation, when bare human sins are revealed for what they are that we realize all the more how much we rely on Him and His grace, His mercy, His love.
You know the best thing about the comparison between our mess-ups and balloons? There are the same in the comparison that once you let them go, not only do you never see them again, you can gaze at the beauty of releasing it up to the sky, knowing that a weight has been lifted and you are free to live again. So forgive yourself, realize that God is gracious. Thank Him for it. Release your balloons to Him. Take all the burdens you may have whether they be imperfections in body such as weight, appearance or whether they be something you just can't forgive yourself of that you did yesterday, or whatever it may be - release it to the Lord right now. Stop and pray your release to the Lord. You'll feel a bunch better!
You know the best thing about the comparison between our mess-ups and balloons? There are the same in the comparison that once you let them go, not only do you never see them again, you can gaze at the beauty of releasing it up to the sky, knowing that a weight has been lifted and you are free to live again. So forgive yourself, realize that God is gracious. Thank Him for it. Release your balloons to Him. Take all the burdens you may have whether they be imperfections in body such as weight, appearance or whether they be something you just can't forgive yourself of that you did yesterday, or whatever it may be - release it to the Lord right now. Stop and pray your release to the Lord. You'll feel a bunch better!
Your burdens are gone, you no longer have to carry them.
"'Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet? ... have you ever noticed one encouraging thing about me Marilla? I never make the same mistake twice' 'I don't know as that's much benefit when you're always making new ones.' 'Oh, don't you see Marilla? There must be a limit to the mistakes one person can make, and when I get to the end of them, then I'll be through with them. That's a very comforting thought.'"
~ Taken From Anne of Green Gables
{All photos via Pintrerest.com}
P.S. I'm now on Pinterest! :) Visit my page and feel free to follow me HERE!
~ Taken From Anne of Green Gables
{All photos via Pintrerest.com}
P.S. I'm now on Pinterest! :) Visit my page and feel free to follow me HERE!
Lovely post, as always. Your amazing blog is such an inspiration to girls, and you and Johanna are both a picture of what Godly women look like, seeking after His heart and will!
ReplyDeleteVery encouraging Bethany. I totally understand what you're going through. Sometimes I feel the same way.
ReplyDeleteSome bloggers only post about the good. As nice as their blog is (some I haven't been reading recently) some people only write about what's going great in their life. I like to read blogs who show their real life and that every day doesn't have to be great.
Thanks for posting this.
-Hannah
The Lord definitely had this for me this morning. Lately, I have a hard time letting go and accepting things that are coming to pass. I read something in my devotions this morning that went right along with it all too! It is so relieving to know that I can cast all my burdens on the Lord, and that He can bear them.
ReplyDeleteI am letting my balloons go...with His help.
That was such a beautiful and inspiring post! I make a lot of mistakes too, so don't feel alone! I'm with you!
ReplyDelete~Jenny