One thing that I have found extremely unhelpful is to read literature that portrays romance or marriage in depth. Even if it is a "Christian romance" then we should still take caution. I have found that many so-called Christian romances are only called so because it mentions the girl going to church on Sunday. This is not true Christianity, sisters! These kinds of books can even be more detrimental than the other romance books because we feel that they are "okay" to read since they are given the Christian title. I find it most helpful to ask my mother what she thinks of a certain book before reading it. Our mother has been there and when we ask for her wisdom and advice she will have much to share! Now, I understand that there may be some clean romances out there, but to me, I don't want to have to read each of them to find out whether it really is clean or not. I try to read books that are encouraging and that will uplift me in my walk with Christ. Anything that doesn't do this is something I would caution you against. Some people are more cautioned in romances than others. There is the balance that needs to be found in between not reading just any book with even the slightest bit of romance and reading any and everything just becasue it is there. Ask your parents how they feel on this subject and ask them what their standards for you are in literature choices.
I love this quote from Sarah Bryant's book, The Family Daughter: "We should not fuel the desires for marriage by feeding our minds with the media that stimulates this craving. This can be a difficult choice; it means we guard every single thought as we are told to do in 2 Corinthians 10:5. A married lady recently shared with me that she learned while single, to not stir up her desires for marriage. she used the illustration of a jar of water containing sparkles. When she shakes the jar of water they are stirred and "come alive" but when she lets it rest in peace, they settle. Until the right time, when the Lord brings along a mate, we must be careful not to stir up these emotions." This is so true!
So what is the key? Being content where we are now, whether we are married or single. If we can't be happy were we are right now then how do we expect ourselves to be content once we marry? The button won't all of a sudden "click" once we are married, let's learn to be content in every situation now! Contentment doesn't come naturally, it is a conscious choice that we need to make every day (sometimes even more often than that!).We must be content to serve our father in his house and we must do it joyfully and willingly. We must view this time of singleness as a blessing and and we must use this opportunity to study God's Word and grow closer to Him, and learn skills that will not only benefit our family now, but our future family later on. In 1 Corinthians 7:34 we see that "An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband." Once we are married and have a home to run, we will not have as much time to study the Word or memorize it, much less learn skills that are valuable. We must use this time to prepare! Skills that we can learn are cooking and baking healthy meals, sewing modest clothing, growing food, schooling or helping watch the children and more!
One habit I have been trying to form is to pray for my future husband each day. When your thoughts turn to weddings then turn that into a prayer. I try and pray for my future husband daily; pray that he would grow close to the Lord, that he would be kept pure and that the Lord would bring us together in the proper time. I also pray for myself, that I would be drawn closer to Christ and that I would use this time to prepare to be a wife and mother. I ask myself what things do I need to work on, such a patience and self-control, and what skills can I improve or learn? I encourage you to start this as well! What a blessing it will be to our future husband to know that we have been praying for him before we even knew him! This is a wonderful way to fulfil Proverbs 31:10 which tells us that the virtuous woman is like: "she does him good not harm all the days of his life." All the days of his life includes those where we don't know him!
Always remember to keep Christ number one in your life! This way whether we marry or not, Christ will be our ultimate goal in life, our closest friend and the center of our life! I will be praying for you and hope that this article has been of encouragement to you!